Do you want children so quick?

Do you want children so quick, or is it the pressure?

From family and friends who really should know better.

Who should let you do things at your own pace,

Take a little time so you have more savings and space.

 

Space in your schedule to spend time with your child,

And savings, so one of you can be home for a while.

‘Cos the early years are so important,

To the quality of your child’s education and emotional development.

 

You’ll have probably had a big fat Indian wedding,

Started your marriage with little or no savings.

And much as you’d like it, it just wouldn’t work,

If one of you worked part-time during your child’s early years.

 

I ask you to think, not to give in to pressure,

From family, friends, and neighbours who really should know better.

Being a parent takes time spent with sense, love and patience,

And a lack of time with your child often isn’t the best situation.

 

Should you have children quickly, or should you wait?

Take more time, settle down. Plan, save and make space.

Space in your schedule to be home with your young child,

Have faith that what’s meant will be given to you when it’s time.

 

I urge you to think, and wait till you’re sure,

Plan to be a parent your child will know.

‘Cos a child is a gift and needs love and care,

Don’t miss out on that because you’re never there.

 

Do you regret having that big fat wedding?

Would the money have helped you out of this situation?

 

Or do you not want children, but can’t take the pressure?

From family, neighbours and friends who really should know better.

Do you feel children are a choice that you don’t want to make,

But have done so to get everyone off your case?

 


A post about a much ignored aspect of family planning.

The pressure to have children is huge for many young couples and it can be quite intrusive. And really hurtful to couples who have difficulty conceiving.

I wrote about my experience with the pressure in ‘Children don’t need time.’


Copyright © Anita E Kohli, May 2019. All rights reserved.

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The stages of my life

It used to be Baby, ‘cos they saw I was young,

The one they looked after when her parents weren’t around.

Then, it was Didi – the elder sister,

A young adult woman without a ‘Mister’.

But 2 years of marriage and that was all gone,

Then I became Bhabhi, their sister-in-law!

 

Now things have changed and there’s grey in my hair.

More on my middle, and some signs of wear.

I’m Auntie and my age gets me more respect,

For I’m older and wiser – at least that’s what they expect.

The years will go by and things will change,

I might someday be Naani – that’ll be a different stage.

 


Indians very rarely use Mr or Ms to address each other. The elderly woman is addressed as  Auntie. And shopkeepers, vendors and fellow commuters have titles for each stage of life. This poem is about the stages in the life of the Indian woman.

Many who speak English as a second language refer to a woman’s husband as her ‘Mister’ – as in “How is your Mister?”

‘Naani’ means grandmother – a title of respect reserved for an ‘Auntie’ who is a senior citizen.

 

 

 

 

Education policy : Why kindergarten children need assessments

Kharghar was already starting to be a location with a large middle class population when we moved here. And I was shocked to see so many middle class families where children had such poor education.
This post is about :

    • The factors that made me think this way.
    • Why language comprehension at age 0 to 5 is crucial.
    • The need for assessments at Kindergarten level.
    • A book review : ‘Mom Dad U R Wonderful’ by Dr Salma Prabhu, a wonderful handbook for parents, as well as for parents to be.

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Dear Levi’s India,

Buying a pair of jeans in Navi Mumbai is mostly impossible for me.

The problem is that i am ‘the average woman’ – busy trying to find that ‘perfect imbalance’ that helps me do the things i would like to, and still manage to do the things i need to, and not always succeeding. I’m either too lazy or too busy to have a regular exercise routine. I weigh 20 kgs more than i did at 20, but in my mind, i’m really very slim..

The shops at Navi Mumbai simply don’t cater to ‘slim’, older women like me. They stop at size 34, and usually only keep the skinny fit!

So, i visited the Levi’s shop at the Phoenix mall, Kurla the other day, because i thought that you had taken the trouble to manufacture jeans to fit every woman. I was pleasantly surprised to find my size – only you now mark every size a couple of numbers below the waist measurement (for example : a 34 is now marked 30 or 32)?

However, i walked away without a pair of jeans, simply because the skinny fit just does not do it for me. Like i did before, i’m going to have to really really look around a lot, to get a pair of jeans that fit’s comfortable.

..A sad customer

😦