Tag Archives: Home

A tale of two families

Husband No 1 :

Nothing to do, nothing to do!

My poor dear wife has nothing to do!

I come home from work and the house is so clean,

She’s sitting around reading a magazine!

The food is all cooked and our ironing is done.

She looks like her day’s been a lot of fun.

She has nothing to do ‘cos housework is easy,

She nags! Maybe, she needs some occupational therapy.

So I sit down and ask her to get me some water,

To bring me my kindle and the newspaper.

I sit down and wait while she serves dinner,

A little bit of work helps her keep her figure.

 

Husband No 2 :

Too much to do, too much to do!

My poor dear wife has too much to do!

I come home from work and she’s running around

The dinner’s on the stove and her work is not done,

The home and the family take all her time,

Her life is too busy, she needs to have fun!

I walk in and get a drink of water, then help her bring dinner to the table.

My wife needs a break cos there’s too much to do,

So I help her at home when I’m able.

 

Wife No 1 :

Too much to do? Too much to do?

My dear friend really has too much to do?

Nothings done ‘cos she works at a comfortable pace.

She takes the breaks that she needs.

I envy her style, how she does with a smile.

The help that she gets makes me burn up inside,

I do so much more but it’s always a chore.

I wish I had time, but there’s too much to do,

and there’s no-one at home who helps me.

 

Wife No 2 :

Too much to do, too much to do!

My dear friend really has too much to do!

She doesn’t know when to take a break,

and thinks it’s a sign that she’s really great!

She’s stressed all the time and she takes so much trouble,

But what is it worth, if she’s always nagging?

 

Child of Couple No 2 :

Too much to do, too much to do!

My poor dear mother has too much to do!

 

Child of Couple No 1 :

Nothing to do, nothing to do!

My poor dear mother has nothing to do!

I better find something for her to do.

 

It’s funny watching women who have totally different styles of managing their home. It has such an impact on the attitudes of their families and the appreciation they get for their work.

This play in a poem is fictional. It’s a lighter look at two stay-at-home women who have very different styles of managing their homes. I hope you enjoy reading it!

Kitchen waste composting at home

My first lot of kitchen waste composting was a success. I ran into problems with my second lot during Step 3 and found a solution to this stage – a fully sealed Soil Factory. All my kitchen waste goes into a composting bin, and I’ve found one single Raddiwalla in Khargar , who takes almost all kinds of paper, plastic, plastic bags & metal waste. Most only take specific kinds of material and nobody here collects for recycling.

We now have one full bin of dry garbage which goes out once or twice a month without recycling. Read on to know how I chose my method of composting, my failure and finally my success. Continue reading →

The colour of gold

The inspiration for this poem

To the average Indian woman, gold is beauty, security and an investment in her future. Sadly, it’s also for many women, a way to determine whether another woman is well off enough, that they can consider being friendly with her.

I learned this because I don’t wear gold jewellery and I often wear no jewellery at all. I’ve had full conversations with women, with their eyes glued to my ears and neck – showing me that they notice the lack of adornment. 

Worse still, we lived on rent when we first moved to our current location, moving a couple of times, before settling down in our permanent home. And every move meant making new friends from scratch.  Initial friendliness from women neighbours can sometimes turn to reserve once they’ve conducted their brief interview and realise they’re talking to someone who does not own her own home! 

It’s a value system that is so accepted in our society that families invest in gold jewellery, leaving nothing for the comforts that make daily living easy.

I often get told I’m lucky that my daily life is relatively comfortable. But it’s not about luck. It’s about personal choices and priorities and spending on what we value most. That’s where this post comes from.

Gold is the colour of :

  • All the machines that do my house work for me.
  • The comfort I get in shopping for convenience and not necessarily for discounts.
  • The education that my parents gave me.
  • The investment of both time and money, that I make in my ongoing education.
  • The family support I get, so that I can work at what I love.
  • The time I get to spend with family.
  • The silence of the morning every day, when I’m having a leisurely cup of chai

Concerned friends, have asked if I own a set of jewellery and my answer is NO. It’s a waste as I’m not going to wear it anyway. Maybe someday, I’ll consider buying some bling that’s actually gold. I don’t know – maybe…

But it won’t mean anything more to me than all the lovely stuff at Archie’s.

What 2013 has taught me

As 2013 comes to a close, I finally realise that I am not wonder woman, and it’s quite ok

This past year has been a year of change – new opportunities, new challenges and a year of goodbyes to some very special people, who were an important part of my life. Life can be so short and I need time to enjoy it – my family, friends and job – I want it all – I want it all – I want it all – and I want it now .. Freddie Mercury had the right idea.

Someday, when the years have gone by, I will look back at what I have done, and hope that it will be with a smile in my heart, knowing I did the things that made me happy and gave me joy. And with affection for the people who loved me and made it all possible.

 

On finding an imbalance between work and home

I am learning that there is no such thing as balancing home and work, but just different kinds of imbalance. You get more stuff done at home, and you have less resources to focus on your work – it’s as simple as that! These wonderful multi-tasting women who do it all, that I read about seem unreal! It’s just so free-ing, to realise, after years of trying to do everything, that there’s no way to succeed. So I am now striving to find an imbalance that works for me and my family

 

Maid in India

I have fond memories of the maid and cook we had before we moved house. I found it easier to deal with leaving my friends, but missed the house help terribly.  After moving, it took time to get help at home. The maid I got was really very honest, and nice – she would turn up either when I had just woken up, or when I was leaving for work, and the new cook took 3 hours daily to cook a dal and 2 veggies (that takes me 45 minutes on a bad day). So, when I finally ended up doing it all AND paying for it and figured that i could just do it all and not pay for it!  I do sometimes dream of having a maid or a cook, but right now am finding, that it’s less stressful without them. At least this way the house work gets shared, since everyone knows there’s no help at home.

 

Coping Techniques

  • If something can wait, just leave it be for another day – procrastinating is an art and it is well worth learning

  • Keep a couple of hours a week to deal with pending stuff

  • Spring Clean and give away unused stuff regularly, it reduces the time taken to clean up at home and getting rid of junk somehow let’s good energy into a home

  • Keep the vacuum cleaner and mop easily reachable, so small spills can be taken care of quickly

  • Look around – you will see a lot of other women in their 40s, like you, trying to do it all and not succeeding, and you will feel much better, when you know you’re not alone

  • Be an imperfectionist at home – it is better to be an average housekeeper who is relaxed, than an amazing one who is always upset that something at home has not been done

  • When things get too much, sit down with a cup of chai, put your feet up and think of something else – this takes practise, but works. You will feel much better after a little while and will be to handle it all when you’re done

 

Is it important to do everything for everyone else in the family, or let them learn to be self-reliant

Is the woman who does everything for everyone wonderful, or is it the woman who teaches her family to look after themselves and be less dependent on having help to do their work? I am sure every family has different thoughts about this. It is worth thinking about.

While it is nice to have help with the home chores, it is also quite a relief to know that the family can survive comfortably even without it, when necessary. I do think people who do work a little bit at home, keep much better health than those who don’t.

 

There’s a time for work and a time to rest

There’s a time and place for everything under the sun, and for me, this is the time to do my own house work. I know that when life thinks I really need a break, the most amazing maid and cook will come knocking at my door (like it happened when we were moving house earlier) and help will just come my way. Until then, it is important for me to accept that i have no house help, be flexible and do my best and simply leave the rest. At least that way, I’m still smiling and relaxed at the end of a busy, busy day.

How to organise your cupboard quickly

My cupboard used to  look nice and tidy. Clothes neatly folded and ironed. I used to love ironing, and cleaning my cupboard relaxed me. Until I started running my own home.

Then it became one of the long list of household chores I had to do to keep things running smoothly. I chose to run my home without a maid, but it meant it took a lot more time. So I started to read up on organising the home in a desperate effort to get things done quicker.

Now,  putting away the washing takes 5 minutes and I can find things easily.

There are days that I just leave all the washed clothes on the bed until they get magically put away – something I never did in the early years when I thought I needed to do everything perfectly.

I’m happier for it and so is my family.

Bin it, rather than fold it

37 Clothes bin

  • Plastic bins are great for segregating different types of clothing, as well as clothes that need ironing.
  • It takes very little time to sort the washing and throw it in the correct bin.
  • Wash and wear stuff goes onto hangers.
  • It’s easy to pull out over-full bins, sort & shove them back.

The 3 Basket set is nice as there’s a size to suit different categories of clothing.

It looks a little messy but it works really great! I use the time I save to sit down with cup of chai.

🙂

Anita E Kohli is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.in.