I chose you and I lost my ability to see.
I couldn’t see your failings, though I was aware of them before.
It’s not that I was blind, but that I didn’t want to see.
Deep down inside, I think accepting your flaws was a reflection on me.
Because you were MY choice. Continue reading My choice
Some of my women friends are stuck. They’re amazing cooks & they were just so good at it, that other family members stopped taking turns with cooking. They loved cooking & took pains to cater to differing tastes, by cooking a wide variety of dishes at every meal.
It’s hitting them hard as they get older & their priorities change. They want time to spend with their extended family & often struggle to get time to meet up with their friends. Because running their home, looking after older family members & producing fabulous meals daily takes all the time they have.
They’re talking about it when we meet & realising that their being so good at cooking has made their family fussy. They now want to unlearn their amazing cooking skills & learn from women with cooking skills like mine!
If you are like me, and your cooking skills range from lousy on a bad day, to basic on a good one, don’t feel bad. Here’s 4 reasons why your family is lucky :
- No one will be terribly overweight, because they’re not likely to overeat.
- Everyone will learn the true meaning of the first line of Serenity Prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Your family will eventually learn to eat the few things you can cook that are edible. After many years, they’ll have gone so used to your cooking, that they’ll have lowered their standards and will even insist that you’re the most amazing cook!
- A lot more gets done at home, because you have the time. Because you can cook what you find easy, because there will be no special requests – for snacks, deserts or just about anything else…if dal (pulses), sabji (veggies) & a couple of chicken dishes are all you can cook that’s edible, everyone will be thrilled to eat it everyday!
- You’re always smiling when you have guests over – because you can enjoy spending time with them. Everyone will be really thrilled if you don’t put yourself out to cook for them and will even try to hint broadly saying “Don’t worry to cook dear, let’s all go out for lunch, or order in. We know you’re busy and will just be tired if you have to do a lot of cooking!”
I’m saying no to the requests I’ve had for cooking classes. The truth is, all I have to do is ‘try’ to cook well and that’s enough for things to go terrible wrong….so I don’t think I can teach it. It’s just a natural talent!
I could look at you in envy
For all the things you have,
The ease with which you cope,
Your luck when things get bad. Continue reading I could look at you in envy
Sometimes I sits, I sits and thinks, of things I’ve never seen,
Of places that I’ll never know, of what I may not be.
Of all the possibilities that seem so far away,
of all the lovely winding roads, that lead out from my gate. Continue reading Possibilities .. a poem about my dreams for the future
I am grateful for your constant and steady companionship.
I have not always felt that way about your many many visits, but as time goes by I’m growing to value them.
When you visit regularly, I sometimes wish you away, but you know that I really do not mean it.
You bring me joy and sorrow, rude shocks and pleasant surprises. Continue reading Dear Change,
The inspiration for this poem
To the average Indian woman, gold is beauty, security and an investment in her future. Sadly, it’s also for many women, a way to determine whether another woman is well off enough, that they can consider being friendly with her.
I learned this because I don’t wear gold jewellery and I often wear no jewellery at all. I’ve had full conversations with women, with their eyes glued to my ears and neck – showing me that they notice the lack of adornment.
Worse still, we lived on rent when we first moved to our current location, moving a couple of times, before settling down in our permanent home. And every move meant making new friends from scratch. Initial friendliness from women neighbours can sometimes turn to reserve once they’ve conducted their brief interview and realise they’re talking to someone who does not own her own home!
It’s a value system that is so accepted in our society that families invest in gold jewellery, leaving nothing for the comforts that make daily living easy.
I often get told I’m lucky that my daily life is relatively comfortable. But it’s not about luck. It’s about personal choices and priorities and spending on what we value most. That’s where this post comes from.
Gold is the colour of :
- All the machines that do my house work for me.
- The comfort I get in shopping for convenience and not necessarily for discounts.
- The education that my parents gave me.
- The investment of both time and money, that I make in my ongoing education.
- The family support I get, so that I can work at what I love.
- The time I get to spend with family.
- The silence of the morning every day, when I’m having a leisurely cup of chai
Concerned friends, have asked if I own a set of jewellery and my answer is NO. It’s a waste as I’m not going to wear it anyway. Maybe someday, I’ll consider buying some bling that’s actually gold. I don’t know – maybe…
But it won’t mean anything more to me than all the lovely stuff at Archie’s.
What do I do, oh what do I do
The sun shines so bright and there’s house work to do
The dishes aren’t done and the floor is not mopped
And I want to go to the coffee shop
Continue reading What do I do