We women of today are really quite reserved. I’ve come to this realisation after I heard Violetta express her love for Alfredo in one of my favourite scenes from La Traviata, Amami Alfredo.
The last time many of us spoke with such feeling to our families
. . . was probably the time we had had enough – and decided that clothes left on the floor would be ‘left’ there. We would not pick them up & put them in the wash like our mothers did, but would leave them be. Until our family came to their senses and put them in their proper place – in the washing machine or the dirty clothes basket!
And I wonder, do we need to listen to Violetta and learn?
How would our husband’s feel, if after all these years of being married, we wives declared our love for them with such passion. Would they be thrilled, or would they rush us off to the nearest doctor, thinking we had a severe stomach ache…..??
Some of my women friends are stuck. They’re amazing cooks & they were just so good at it, that other family members stopped taking turns with cooking. They loved cooking & took pains to cater to differing tastes, by cooking a wide variety of dishes at every meal.
It’s hitting them hard as they get older & their priorities change. They want time to spend with their extended family & often struggle to get time to meet up with their friends. Because running their home, looking after older family members & producing fabulous meals daily takes all the time they have.
They’re talking about it when we meet & realising that their being so good at cooking has made their family fussy. They now want to unlearn their amazing cooking skills & learn from women with cooking skills like mine!
If you are like me, and your cooking skills range from lousy on a bad day, to basic on a good one, don’t feel bad. Here’s 4 reasons why your family is lucky :
- No one will be terribly overweight, because they’re not likely to overeat.
- Everyone will learn the true meaning of the first line of Serenity Prayer “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” Your family will eventually learn to eat the few things you can cook that are edible. After many years, they’ll have gone so used to your cooking, that they’ll have lowered their standards and will even insist that you’re the most amazing cook!
- A lot more gets done at home, because you have the time. Because you can cook what you find easy, because there will be no special requests – for snacks, deserts or just about anything else…if dal (pulses), sabji (veggies) & a couple of chicken dishes are all you can cook that’s edible, everyone will be thrilled to eat it everyday!
- You’re always smiling when you have guests over – because you can enjoy spending time with them. Everyone will be really thrilled if you don’t put yourself out to cook for them and will even try to hint broadly saying “Don’t worry to cook dear, let’s all go out for lunch, or order in. We know you’re busy and will just be tired if you have to do a lot of cooking!”
I’m saying no to the requests I’ve had for cooking classes. The truth is, all I have to do is ‘try’ to cook well and that’s enough for things to go terrible wrong….so I don’t think I can teach it. It’s just a natural talent!
My husband is in a state of shock – i did not know i could do this to him. It all started a couple of days ago, when i walked in and saw a picture on the computer screen.
A picture of this guy Luke. I saw it and immediately asked my husband if it was Luke Skywalker and he said it was. It’s funny, cos i just knew the name Luke Skywalker, but could not remember who he actually was. So, i thought for a moment and then it hit me. I said ‘It’s the Phantom isn’t it?’
My husband just looked at me blankly, so i elaborated ‘You know, the guy from the comic strip … The Ghost who walks?’
His blank look turned to shock and he just stared at me and i realised i’d got it wrong. After a moment of thought, it struck me that maybe Luke Skywalker is a character from ‘Star Wars’ and that he was the guy who turned into Darth Vader. I asked him if i’d got it right.
Shock turned into stunned disbelief!!
He’s had a couple of days to think and now realises he’s been married for over 15 years to a woman who does not know who Luke Skywalker is!!
You no longer feel like you’re just out of college
You are 20 kgs heavier than when you were 20 but you feel very slim
You will never have time to do all that you have to or want to
You are wise and you have given up trying – there’s a long long ‘To-do’ list which will never go away
The Loreal representative at the local mall tries to get you to buy more natural looking hair dye – even though you don’t dye your hair
Even the Bhaji-walla who used to call you Baby, then Didi, then Bhabhi, now calls you Auntie
For the non-Indian:
The Bhaji-walla is the vegetable vendor
They call all children Baba(boys) or Baby(girls), all young women Didi (elder sister), the not so young women Bhabhi(sister-in-law) and Auntie is just one step away from Nani – which means grandmother – a title you get when you look like, or are a senior citizen.
What do I do, oh what do I do
The sun shines so bright and there’s house work to do
The dishes aren’t done and the floor is not mopped
And I want to go to the coffee shop
I don’t see the papers that need to be filed
The bills to be paid can wait just a while
The sun shines so bright and it’s lovely outside
I know what to do – I’ve just got to get out
I call up my friend, say I’ll meet her for tea
Or coffee and cake at Java Bean
We talk and we laugh and we have a nice time
Now, it’s eight in the evening, but I’m in the mood
To wash the dishes and mop the floor
To do all the things that need to be done
I’ve had a nice day and I did it my way
I’m happy to work at the end of the day