100% – that’s all the work to be done
home management can be fulfilling and fun!
But it’s 10% more ‘cos they won’t put things away
don’t have assigned chores, but still have their say.
Add 10% for customs and traditions that are rigid
No longer needed but stay
and deprive all in the family
10 % ‘cos she just doesn’t know
ways that teach all of them the independence needed,
for a smooth easy work-flow.
10% for the OCD
that makes small simple tasks big
and really time-consuming.
So many 10 percents that drag her down
till she learns the secret – shhhhhh!
I can’t say it out loud.
It’s practise makes perfect and different ways to stand firm
Till it gets too difficult for them and they just have to learn.
When we talk about the work of a home manager, it’s important to separate actual work, and work created or made complicated by traditions.
By upbringing or ideas on gender roles that make people dependent on others for personal chores like eating, drinking water and putting their things away.
And the OCD, look it up if you don’t know what this is 🙂 that makes some women make their own lives difficult and then set rules for younger women in the family, and continue the cycle of suffering and self-sacrifice that is often totally unnecessary and unwanted by all family members.
I write this poem as a journey. So, I’ve tried to incorporate some of the paths that different home managers make, some finding a workable solution by keeping many ten percent’s, and others wanting to do away with them.
Different ways have worked well for me, at different times in my life.
I’ve always felt that these ten percent’s detract from the quality of life. However, despite my thinking, there are times I have held onto some ten percent’s because working within the existing comfort level of habit assumed importance to me.
A 2021 Update: Small changes I made within the boundaries of customs and tradition expanded those boundaries for me slowly. And have built up, over almost 22 years of marriage, to a totally different way of living that is now becoming a habit. A way that is so comfortable for all, that it’s starting to be a new custom / tradition.