She’s the bottom of the barrel

She’s like the bottom of the pot, where the spoon scrapes.

When there’s less inside, to put on our plates.

The bottom of the barrel that bears the pressure,

When it’s filled to the brim and there’s no ease or leisure.

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The support for the busy of everyone else,

And when she’s not well, the support for herself.

She’s not like her husband who gets his food done,

When the doctor advises lifestyle changes and more sun.

She’s not at the park with her friends like the old men,

Who have nothing to do and more time they can spend.

The support for the busy of everyone else,

And when she’s not well, the support for herself.

This is something the medical profession should consider,

And talk to families still steeped in patriarchal traditions.

Because many men don’t do housework and some think it’s demeaning,

And they often don’t have the fortitude needed to handle children and difficult elderly senior citizens.

They need to wake up and offer support and caring,

And a doctor talking about this might make them more understanding.

Because she’s like the bottom of the barrel that bears the pressure,

When it’s filled to the brim and there’s no ease or leisure.

The support for the busy of everyone else,

And when she’s not well, often the ONLY support for herself.

 


The Indian woman often has to go home to her mother when she’s not well, or needs rest, because looking after her when she’s not well is not a part of the role of many Indian husbands and sons. This is a difficulty I don’t have, and I find myself quite shocked at the lack of support that make life a struggle for many Indian women, when they aren’t well.

I think the medical profession needs to wake up and talk to families when women have serious health issues. Look at daily routines in the families and counsel them when they find women patients without family support. Or women who won’t let their families support them, because they are the ones who cling to customs that create barriers for themselves.

I do believe this is one factor that has a HUGE impact on the health of the Indian women and I believe a change in expectation from the medical community in this respect will change things.

Image by Manfred Antranias Zimmer from Pixabay


Copyright © Anita E Kohli, July 2019. All rights reserved.

Published by

Anitaelise

Piano Teacher, Poet, Relaxed Housekeeper & Blogger

4 thoughts on “She’s the bottom of the barrel”

  1. So very true anita. However the medical community in india is not sensitised towards dealing with a medical issue in a holistic way. They not only lack training but also don’t have the time. Look at the long queues outside clinics and hospitals.

    Like

    1. Hi Monita,
      What you say is true. The approach when teaching doctors in medical schools could have an impact though.
      I still think there’s some space for private doctors to lead change. One very prominent hospital has a printed list of guidelines and their patient is sent to a doctor for a short talk on them, after regular consultation.
      Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
      Conversations matter too.

      Like

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