Change the woman, to change the man

I visit my friend and she’s at the table,

Feeding her son who is perfectly able,

To eat on his own. He’s almost a teen!

I wonder why it is that she just can’t see.

With a spoon in her hand and love in her heart,

This is her way of bringing him up.

He comes home from work and she brings him water.

It’s something she won’t do for any of her daughters.

Is this the way it should be, or is it a problem?

Is she raising a son who is likely to give trouble?

Will her son only see love when it comes with food,

Food that needs to be served in the way that she used to do?

Is this love, or is it a need for control?

A way to keep hold when she should let go?

We have to change the woman to change the man,

Before she can raise him with the spoon in her hand.

Teach her that love is letting go,

To have no need to control through very fixed gender roles.

You need to change, young woman, if you’ve married a man,

Who wants you to hold the spoon in your hand.

Teach him love that is given free of control,

So he learns to be free even if his Mom can’t let go.